Over Easter weekend, we invited people to celebrate that Jesus is risen by creating their own butterflies and hanging them in their windows for the world to see. Truthfully at our house, I did most of the creating as the teenagers in the house sighed and made hesitant faces wondering why I was asking them to do a family activity. Hopefully, your experience was a little different! Thank you to everyone who sent in a photo of their butterfly art. Together we made a kaleidoscope of butterflies offering praise to God!

All of this talk about butterflies caused me to reflect on how my experience is a little bit like theirs. During this unprecedented time, it feels like I go back and forth between being tucked away as a caterpillar in the chrysalis and emerging as a butterfly ready to fly.

Many days, many moments, I feel safest in my cocoon. I actively try to protect myself from the news, announcements, opinions, and the concrete physical world of people and germs. I feel protected. Sort of... In the stillness, the voices of doubt and fear can be heard. The voices are not new; they are just a little louder now in the quiet. Who am I? What is my purpose? Am I good enough? Am I doing enough? Am I loved?

There is an amazing transformation that happens for the caterpillar in the chrysalis. Scripture tells us that I am transformed too if I look to the One who is the answer. “Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come.” 2 Corinthians 5:17 I am a child of God, created by Him for His purpose. I don’t have anything to prove, defend or be. By His grace I am a new creation.

On some days if even for only just a moment, I feel grown enough to emerge and try a little flying. Some days that means a great something is accomplished and other times it means the voices of fear and doubt are quelled for only a minute.

Just like the butterfly something so supernatural happens in the transformation by the One who is greater.

On those days when I am grieving and it’s hard to face the day, I worry that my children will see and only remember the mom who is burdened and weak.

In those moments remind me to call out, “And now, O Lord, for what do I wait? My hope is in you.”Psalm 39:7

I pray that my children see beyond the cocoon and see God at work transforming my life.

“Now may the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, that you may abound in hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.” Romans 15:13

**************

Nancy Varga is the Family Ministry Director at Amberlea Church.

She can be reached at familyministries@amberleachurch.ca