"People were bringing little children to Jesus for him to place his hands on them, but the disciples rebuked them. When Jesus saw this, he was indignant. He said to them, "Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of God belongs to such as these. Truly I tell you, anyone who will not receive the kingdom of God like a little child will never enter it." And he took the children in his arms, placed his hands on them and blessed them. Mark 10:13-16

Meet my delightful young boy, Gabriel who has a spirit like an angel, filled with happiness, kindness, and love. Gabriel, my miracle baby, was born on September 17, 2015 at a healthy 6 pounds, 8 ounces. He was the happiest and friendliest baby you ever did meet. He captured the attention of everyone with his bright eyes, infectious smile, and a personality that was always content. He went to just about anyone, ready to play, exchange giggles, and give great big hugs.

At 13 months, Gabriel began to suffer from severe inner ear infections that continued on and off for just over a year. Gabriel was often ill, medicated, and had to endure two surgeries in order to rectify his hearing. During this course of time, at age 1 year and 6 months, Gabriel was also diagnosed with a speech delay in which I sought treatment for immediately.

While I worked tirelessly to observe, learn, and implement all the strategies that I attained through attending Gabriel's Speech therapy sessions, I began to notice something different in him. Gabriel, who was once a very social boy began to turn inward. He didn't respond to his name, suddenly had no interest in toys, didn't socialize, and began to demonstrate self-stimulating behaviours. At 2 and a half years old, Gabriel was diagnosed with Autism Spectrum Disorder.

At this time, I was devastated. The future that I had envisioned for my son seemed shattered. However, there was something in my gut that told me that my little boy was in there and had the potential to thrive in all aspects of life and learning. I knew as his mother that I had to be the one to help get the true Gabriel out. It was me that had to initiate the process of Gabriel's healing and improvement. I began to do endless research and immersed myself into a world of advocacy and resources to help my son.

Soon, Gabriel was involved in various therapies including: private Speech and Language Therapy, Occupational Therapy, Recreational Therapy, Music Therapy and ABA Therapy, amongst swimming, soccer, and gymnastics with neuro-typical peers. While this makes for an extremely busy schedule while also holding down a full time job, the gains that I saw and continue to see are totally worth it. I also work with a Naturopath and have learned that Gabriel also suffers from fecal loading which in turn affects his cognition, sensory systems, and communication. As a result, Gabriel must only consume foods that are gluten, dairy and grain free. He must also take numerous daily supplements to improve his gut and brain health which are not covered by our Healthcare. This in itself has become very time consuming and costly.

That being said, things can become very difficult at times, emotionally, physically, and financially. From the time Gabriel was diagnosed on April 5, 2018 up until April 1, 2020, I paid for ABA therapy out of pocket. As well, I paid the aforementioned therapies once I exhausted my insurance benefits, which happened in a matter of a few months. I've easily have spent $60 000 out of my own pocket, and have had to use a line of credit in order to continue therapies. This often can be a lot to handle, but what can be more challenging is the constant communication with therapists, keeping up with invoice payments, and the constant advocating for your special needs child.

Year after year, I've had to advocate for Gabriel's needs to be accommodated in various settings. The pain a parent endures when your son is either left out of an event or treated like an outsider is absolutely heart-wrenching.

I can remember one day, driving to Gabriel's daycare from work to attend Gabriel's daycare graduation only to get a phone call from my spouse saying that the supervisor of the daycare handed him Gabriel's graduation certificate, saying that he should take Gabriel home because it would be too much for him to handle. My spouse, being an immigrant to Canada from a communist country didn't realize that he had the right to have his son attend the graduation and allow him the opportunity to celebrate this milestone with his peers. By the time I could actually get a hold of the supervisor, as she was in attendance at the graduation, the ceremony was already over. I simply got an apology and was told it was a bad judgment call.

At two Christmas concerts, both at a daycare and in Gabriel's first school, he was given a toy to hold to keep him "occupied" while he stood alongside his peers, rather than giving him the opportunity to sing songs that were ironically his favorites and he knew the words and actions to. And when I voiced my concerns and feelings about these situations, in one instance, I got an "I'm sorry. We had no idea he knew the song!", and in the other instance I was told that I needed to understand that they must lower expectations for Gabriel because they know that he can't achieve otherwise. These were truly some of the most trying times that I faced in my life.

Through all of this, I was blessed with a consultative worker through Durham Behaviour Management who was not only empathetic, but always supported me as a parent through these difficult situations. I truly believe that God brought her into my life for good reason. During one of our many conversations, she suggested that I get in touch with a former client of hers that could perhaps act as a support to me in navigating through situations as these as she had much experience as a mother of a boy who was also on the Autism Spectrum.

So, I decided to give this woman a call, and that's when I had my first conversation with Shelly Wedge. During our very first chat, she invited me to Amberlea Church, and explained that I could attend service, and that Gabriel could attend the KidZone during the service where she ensured that his needs would be accommodated and he would be included in all of the activities. I thought to myself, "Could this actually be?" because in my church, there was no such thing, and I spent half the time, making sure that Gabriel was safe and attending, not really having the opportunity to attend to the service, myself. That first Sunday at Amberlea Church was life-changing. As we walked through the door, we were greeted with open arms. Gabriel was treated with dignity and respect and for the first time like a "kid" and it wasn't about his diagnosis. Before I knew it, I found myself in awe because my son was walking down the aisle dressed like a Wise Man holding a bottle of pretend frankincense and sat at the front of the church with the other children. It was the first time that I felt that he was included and without even getting to know him, they saw the potential in him to give him a role in this presentation.

And so the story continues. We attended every Sunday, thereafter, and I can't say enough about the support that Amberlea Church has given us. Gabriel loves attending, and literally skips to the door because he can't wait to be a part of the singing, dancing, activities, and socializing with the other children at KidZone. Special thanks to Shelly Wedge and Nancy Varga for the planning and implementation of KidZone activities. And… mom gets to finally have a moment of peace where she gets to be still and truly feels a connection to God through mass attendance, not to mention a sense of support and community from Pastor Mona, the elders, and the people of the church. Most importantly, I feel at ease when I am at Amberlea Church because I know my son is loved for his uniqueness.

Gabriel has so many gifts to share with this world and those at Amberlea Church "see" Gabriel for who he really is, and recognize that he is truly an amazing kid. I once remember Pastor Mona pointing out Gabriel as he skipped around during a service, saying how we should look to Gabriel for inspiration for allowing ourselves to be uninhibited, free-spirited and just enjoy the moment as he often does. It was perfect!

As part of our village, Amberlea Church has truly shown me that they have a hand in raising Gabriel and continue to root for him along this amazing journey! As his Mom, for this, I feel we are truly blessed.

Note from Nancy Varga, Amberlea Church Family Ministries Director:
Amberlea Church welcomes and supports all families with exceptional needs. We desire to provide safe, welcoming programming and environment that is suited to children's specific needs, enabling children with autism to fully participate virtually and in person.
We are thankful to Vittoria and Gabriel for sharing their story with us. If you would like to know ways to come alongside their family or others, please be encouraged to reach out. You are also invited to contribute to their GoFundMe page.
https://gofund.me/70f24e11