Do you ever question your faith? If so, how often? Is it daily, weekly, hourly?

What makes you question your faith?

For me, having children on the autism spectrum has made me question my faith more than once. In fact, if you asked me in any particular time or year, my answer would most likely be different.

I think accepting a child with special needs is kind of like a grieving period. You grieve for the child you may have been dreaming of and what they could do and what their life would look like. You imagine hopes and dreams.

With an autism diagnosis, comes a level of grieving. I honestly don't know how it works for everyone, but for me, there was a lot of initial denial and non-acceptance. Perhaps the diagnosis was incorrect. Perhaps he would just, "grow out of it." There is also a lot of, "what ifs?"

As I think back to our situation, I think about how different my views were from my husband. He was not focused on the diagnosis, but what he could do to provide interventions and successes. While I was focused on not wanting anyone to find out about it and just crying a lot, I couldn't see what my husband saw.

I must admit, I blamed God, at first. I fought so many things in the beginning, but God never left my side. He never let go of my hand. He was always with me, even when I didn't trust, believe or accept - He never gave up on me.

God saw the end from the beginning and he has blessed my life in so many ways that I could never have imagined. He blessed our family and He was always there opening doors for us to walk through to create a better life and better experiences for our family.

I'm so grateful to Amberlea Church for walking beside us, seeing our vision and even though we are in the baby stages of growth for our Exceptional Needs program, I know that God will continue to bless us in this special ministry. *See our new community program, F.A.C.E. (Fun Autism Community Experiences) starting this fall.

No matter what our plans may be, God's plans may be different and once we stop fighting and engage in acceptance, our faith will not only grow but flourish.

I love the verse,

"I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me."

Philippians 4:13

God gives me strength, on the good days and on the bad days and my faith keeps growing because of this each day and I will always be grateful for that.

Shelly Wedge

Exceptional Family Ministry Coordinator

Amberlea Church