“But the angel said to them, “Do not be afraid.
I bring you good news. It will bring great joy for all the people.”
Luke 2:10

It’s Christmas! Lots of children/teens will be experiencing feelings of happiness, excitement and so looking forward to the holidays! Some will have pictures taken with Santa. Some will participate in different seasonal activities like skating, skiing, toboganning, to name a few. Many will have their Christmas lists together of the things they may be hoping to get. Many families will enjoy holiday get together time with extended family and friends. There are so many possibilities and so many things to do!

But if you are the parent of a child or teen with autism, Christmas doesn’t look like that for you. The holidays can be very stressful. There are routine changes at school as there are Christmas activities going on. Your child may not be able to sit for a picture with Santa. Noise around your child may cause them to be anxious and disengaged and even very upset. The thought of going to extended family makes the tears well up in your eyes just knowing what could happen.

Many times over the years, our daughter retreated to her room because of the noise and being overwhelmed. One year, we put up our tree as we do every year, but our daughter was busy with another activity. Well, she got so incredibly upset that she had a total meltdown and my son and I had to leave the house. She needed a few hours to calm down. Our son was upset because when we got home my husband had taken the tree down and he was in tears. We had to start all over again. That year, just doing our tree was so emotional for everyone. Even going to church can be stressful and difficult.

These are some of the feelings that I previously experienced in the early years of autism. Family gatherings were difficult because of one of my children would not sit at the table. Visiting Santa took a lot of thought and preparation and planning. We would make a list from looking at websites and printing off pictures and going to stores and taking pictures of toys. This is how our list came about. When we would go to Santa, we would go at the least busy time possible and be prepared to leave if we had to. Schedule changes in school caused disruption and anxiety.

But, I am happy to say that these things no longer exist for our family for a couple of reasons. Firstly, I stopped caring what other people thought and I made sure both of our children were included in the celebrations that they wanted to be involved in. We developed our own family traditions about how we approached the day and we made it work for us. I decided to make sure that they did many different activities and each year it got easier as we didn’t put any pressure on them to do things the traditional way.

We developed our own traditions at church and our church was so gracious to accommodate our family in participating in everything our kids wanted to be involved in.

Now I am happy to say that we approach the season with calmness and with the expectation that sometimes things have to change as we are going through the days. We just kind of roll with it and go with the flow.

As this season is upon us, we also must remember what Christmas is all about. It is Christ’s birthday! Whether your children are typical or have autism or have some other kind of special need, it is important for them to know the reason for the season is Jesus.

“For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son,

that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life.” John 3:16

All kids and teens who are on the autism spectrum, may need to learn this in different ways and their understanding may not be the same as others, but isn’t it great to know that Jesus loves all the children – ALL of them! There is no segregation as we sometimes get in our society. He does not see differences. He just loves completely and totally and that is such a great thing to know and to be a part of, especially during this season.

We here at Amberlea celebrate ALL children! We hope that you will be able to join us for our family service on Christmas Eve which is happening at 6 pm. This service is designed especially for children and families and it is a great time to come together and to celebrate with our community. We hope to see you there!

Shelly Wedge

Exceptional Family Ministry Coordinator