Special Needs Dads are sometimes forgotten. The focus is on the child and also the Mother. But the Dads play such an important role in a family with a special needs child.

In our family, especially upon diagnosis, my husband was extremely good at applying for all of the government money we were eligible for and getting all of the financial aspects in place. I still remember the day, not long after the diagnosis, when I said to my husband that we should not apply for all these things because it’s going to label our son and this won’t be good for him. I still remember him turning to me and saying, “Shelly, just forget about the label, it doesn’t matter. The money is what is going to get him the help he needs. You have to have faith.”

I still remember that conversation after all these years. He had emotions about it as well, but he was determined to get all the help and secure all of the funding we could get our hands on to help our son. I think my husband is truly amazing! I just want to tell you some of the things that he has done for our family. Not only did he work very hard to bring home money so that we could afford some of the things that we did, he was also involved on a practical level too. If there was something at school I couldn’t handle, he would swoop in and talk to the right people and advocate at the highest possible level to make sure our son got the things he needed to be successful. He is now the chairman for the TCDSB special education committee because I told him we have to get involved if we want to make changes to things at that level.

I feel that our children are very blessed because of him and the support and care and strength it takes to change a system that is broken. I will always be grateful to him for all the work he does behind the scenes to care for our family.

Most Dads work extremely hard in the background to provide their family with the funds that they need to make sure their children can get the therapies that they need. They may not always know what to do on the emotional level with their child, especially when the child is younger. But just the support to the Mom and doing little things like taking the child for a drive or to the park are so important as it gives the Mom a little time to either rest or get things together in the home. Without the Dads, the Moms surely would be lost.

God gave us a family unit for a reason. It is hard to do things on your own and both parents have a special skill set that contributes to the success of the family. Being parents of a special needs child is extremely difficult and a lot of marriages do not survive this. But I have seen many Dads still step up in this situation as well and they will always play an important role in the child’s life.

We also need to be thankful for and rely on our “Heavenly Father” who is always there to love us, guide us and protect us in the most vulnerable moments of our lives.

I truly think that we need to pray for these families. It is hard going and the strain is so great. We need to keep them in our thoughts and prayers and try to help whenever possible, even in the smallest way. God wants families together, not torn apart.

We all play a role in contributing to a successful family. God knows our needs individually. He knows the struggles of special needs Dads.

There is a verse in the Bible in 1 Thessalonians 2:11-12 that reads,

“Fathers encourage and comfort your children.”

All of our children need their Dad or a father figure in their lives who will protect them and be there for them.

Today we celebrate all Father’s but especially the Fathers of special needs children.

HAPPY FATHER’S DAY!

Shelly Wedge
Exceptional Family Ministries Coordinator
Amberlea Church
www.amberleachurch.ca