You may have thought to yourself, “How could I possibly help a family who has an exceptional child or teen? What can I do? I don’t know anything about autism or any other exceptional need. I don’t know what to do or say. Maybe if I just don’t think about it, it will disappear or go away. There are others who are more qualified to help. I don’t want to get involved because I have enough on my plate already.”

Some of these thoughts may have crossed your mind or something similar.

I’m here to tell you that you have to start thinking about it and do something. God wants you to take action. In fact, He commands it of all of us.

As a parent of two exceptional teens, I’m here to tell you that you cannot, I mean you cannot possibly understand the things that we have to do in the course of a day.

Paperwork – We have a ton, usually a file for each doctor or therapist, school IEP, psychologist. You name it, we have a file on it. It’s paperwork that has to constantly stay up-to-date as it may need to be given at any time to appropriate individuals whether for education or medical purposes.

Cooking – Most kids/teens with autism usually have some kind of eating issue or special diet that needs to be strictly adhered to at all times. For example, I have one child with an eating disorder that has to eat at specific times of the day and eat specific things. I have another child who eats no dairy, gluten, soy, sugar, corn, grains and is on the SCD diet as well.

School Support - Both of my children need extra, yet different support for school.

Mental Health - One of my children has mental health issues as well as autism and she has many therapists that she deals with on a daily basis.

These are just a few of the things that go on in my home.

So how can you help families like mine?

First thing and most important is dedicated PRAYER. We must never forget the power of prayer and all of us can do it. It matters so very much.

If a family has a younger child with special needs, perhaps you can run an errand for them. People who have to cook for kids on special diets usually have to shop at more than one store to get all the items they need. If you also work full time, these trips are time consuming but necessary.

Even if you don’t know the family, you can always send a note or an email. Tell them you are praying for them or just to say hello and touch base with them.

Some advice I will give you is, never ask a special needs parent what you can do. They have so many things to do they will not be able to articulate which one. It’s better to just do something, anything at all to help.

Drop off a much needed coffee on their doorstep. This may be what helps get them through the mountain of night time paperwork that they need to finish for their child.

Ever heard of respite? This is where someone would go in and just hang out with the child or teen for an hour or two so that the parent can get a much needed errand done, go to an appointment or just take a walk by themselves. I realize that in Covid times this is not always possible.

Offer to go for a walk with them, even if it’s very short and they have to bring their child. It may just be the only interaction they have with another adult for that entire month. When my kids were younger and my son had at-home therapy 7 days a week, I literally had no time to see anyone for such a long time so the therapists became my friends.

If you have any skills, especially for teens, you could offer to teach their child something, some kind of skill. It could be computer related, office skills, building something – it doesn’t matter. Offer to get them involved. This is what we do for our son, especially in our church. He has helped out in the KidZone. He has helped out in summer camps. We just optimize his skills and work with the people. They are always able to accommodate his needs and he is always able to be involved and for that we are so grateful. But someone has to take the initiative to make this happen.

A big one that no one ever wants to talk about is financial. I understand how uncomfortable this is for many of us. For our family, just for one of our kids, the supplements plus the doctor’s appointments (functional medicine), the drugs he needs that are not covered by OHIP or my spouses’ plan and special dietary foods are between $1,000-$1,500 per month. That’s a mortgage payment for some people. These are things that these children need to have optimal health. Just basic things for them to be healthy as their immune systems do not function like everyone else. This can be very stressful for parents.

These families need you! But they probably will never ask because they are too proud or too busy – there could be many reasons and there are many reasons.

God is calling you to help. God needs you to help and support these families, prayerfully and practically.

“Let each of you look not only to his own interests but also to the interests of others.” Philippians 2:4

I leave you with these thoughts. Please pray on it and let God lead you in the direction He places on your heart today.

You may not know a specific family to encourage and support or know where to begin. I am here to help, brainstorm or talk to anyone who wants to on this subject. I would love to connect with you.

Shelly Wedge
Execeptional Families Coordinator
Amberla Church